'Oh dear that aint the restroom!' A bar girl shouted as I opened the lost door. With no name. The entrance to the bathroom was about 5 steps to the left and marked only with a small gold plate.
'This place is for drunks- wheres the logic in a plate so Goddamn small.' I thought, Defending my dignity from the part of my mind taunting: 'Your a stumbling moron'
I had opened the door much wider this time. Some excessive display of strength on account of the wine had cause me to swing the damn thing clear to the wall- exposing not a restroom but a dimly lit den filled with people who looked busy. Who looked unhappy to see me again.
They remembered me from an hour before, when I had opened their door the first time. I knew it- in the half second it was open- I had to stop fucking around and make my ass invisible. Almost exactly one goddamn hour later I'm standing there looking 13 or so tough guys, dressed to the 9's, directly in the face.
'Just shut the door fella-' The bar girl said seeing what I saw. Her voice was no longer the bar girl voice but the sincere voice you'd think of when recalling a close friend in a desperate situation. She was scared so I began to fear them even more.
The music from the other side of the hall had no problem reaching our back corner and adding a frantic touch to everything. Bunny Berigan rang in our ears and happy tunes were turned to a sort of mocking dirge. Russian Lullaby- the song of the vulture.
One of them spoke ' No no, you come on in and shut that thing behind ya.' He was certainly calm about things. I started forward without even trying.
'Oh no Oh no,' The Bar girl shook as she hurried away.
The door shut behind me and turned off Berigan's music. Now it was Helen Ward on record, A strange choice for a room full of tough guys. This got me laughing, on account of the nerves.
'So your happy to join us then little Joe?' Offered one of the suits at a table in the center of the room. He wore criminal all over him .He stunk and looked liked diamonds all at once. His smile was crooked and his teeth were perfect. Each one of them shone a different shade of white brighter than the last until you could no longer look. The suit could have been stone if it weren't for the way in which it bent to his every bend without resistance- sharp.
I didn't budge for a small twitch in my check making me smile. Possibly the worst reaction I could have conjured and yet the only one I was allowed. On account of the nerves.
' Look fellas! hes smilin!' The crook shouted. They all laughed.
'I'm sorry I keep opening the door- I just-' I started to explain, praying for my life all the while. In my head.
'You're lucky you caught us at Christmas kid! We don't deliver beatings until after the holidays' He interrupted. I gulped.
'We don't?' A huge and clearly drunk bear of a man on a stool asked smiling, with a bottle of something clear in his hand.
They all laughed.
'You're just gonna have to help us out with our little holiday prank.' The Crook said. "Aint that right boys?'
They all laughed.
I worried.
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